Pictures of MY "Beethoven," Boy visiting Salzburg, Austria at age 11

My Beethoven Boy visiting Salzburg and Vienna, Austria at age 11- his dreams had come true! As a parent, it is always a wish to be able to fulfill a dream for your child. Perhaps, running around Salzburg screaming "I love it here, it feels like home," and seeing your boy break the rule and reverently caress Mozart's piano behind the ropes is not what you would expect your child to want more than anything. But recognizing that for Christian, this experience would touch his heart and soul forever made this dream a joy to fulfill!



Christian standing in our hotel room in Salzburg

Christian with a coveted Mozart chocolate

Christian playing chess at a restaurant in Salzburg

Finding Christmas- W. Brett Wilson

In my last post, I certainly didn't mean to give the impression that Christian doesn't enjoy Christmas (or myself, for that matter) but certainly finding more meaning in the season remains more challenging in our materialistic society. Attending Christmas Eve service, singing Silent Night by candlelight, celebrating our faith in God- that certainly draws our family close at Christmas and reminds us of our many blessings.

 Christian and his sister Malia often share their musical talents in two very different yet meaningful events during the Christmas season. One event is hosted by well known philanthropist, W. Brett Wilson (also former and BEST DRAGON on CBC's Dragon's Den) who invites both international and local artists together in a special fundraiser concert to raise awareness and money for the Veteran's Food Bank. This charity does far more than provide just food, it helps pay mortgage payments, doctor's bills, medication and other essential help to our veterans who put their life on the line for ours.  

Christian was only eight years old the very first time he was invited by Brett to play a few pieces in the concert and Christian has been fortunate to share his music in this memorable fundraiser every year since. Four years ago, Brett's vision grew to include a Christmas dinner for not only guests personally invited by him but opened the doors to welcome several moms and their children who need to spend their Christmas in safe houses because of domestic violence. Brett spares no expense to hire additional security to ensure that for at least this one incredible night, these precious families can enjoy the food and music without worrying about their safety. Artists such as the Canadian Tenors (now called "The Tenors", Oscar Lopez,James Keelaghan  Beverly Mahood, Brett Kissel, The Stellas, Don Amero, Sophie Serafino and many others have been involved in making Brett's annual Christmas event one to always remember!

It without doubt is one of my families most cherished evenings of not only the Christmas season but of the entire year!

As a mom, you always pray that there will be individuals that will help will play a role in your child's life, recognizing and nurturing their gifts and being another voice besides yours that they will learn from. Brett has been not only a role model and patron of Christian's talent but is someone that has shown Christian how being generous to others is a privilege and to always continue to pay it forward.

Malia, Christian's little and most talented sister was only five when Brett came into Christian's life but he made a point of always making her feel special when the spotlight was focused on Christian. Brett would pick her up and twirl her around, carry her up on stage and make her feel welcome at all of his events. As Malia's talents in music and dance continued to become more apparent, she was also now one of Brett's featured performers at age only eight. Malia learned 12 Christmas duets this past month to showcase with her brother during the Christmas dinner for Brett's guests and she put everything inside her heart into those carols.

As a mom, you can't choose the people that will influence your child's lives so I know that it is a true blessing that Brett just happens to be one of Christian and Malia's most special friends!

Bah Humbug

Perhaps, it shouldn't surprise me that my Beethoven Boy at the tender age of 10 spent eight glorious weeks on stage in a professional theatre production of "A Christmas Carol." On opening night, Christian astounded me with his confidence in his scenes with Scrooge and he seemed right at home with his new English accent bringing the characters of Turkey Boy, Want and six other minor roles to life. In one of the final scenes, Christian was left sitting alone on center stage with an enormous turkey on his lap with snowflakes gently falling thanks to the magic of special effects. I held my breath in wonder as Christian was transformed in that moment to Dicken's time when Scrooge discovered the "true meaning of Christmas."




It was Christian's first and only stage credit to date and I will forever count watching my son in that spectacular production as one of my favourite Christmas memories. Certainly, it was a big commitment for my husband and I as well as we needed to drive to the theatre, despite ferocious snow storms and such, and make sure Christian was present at every rehearsal and performance. IT is the same commitment that everyone involved in this professional stage presentation makes to each other and they brought down the house every time with their electric performances on stage.

At age thirteen, the Christmas season is not all jolly and bright for Christian, he can be rather jaded at at times and truthfully quite"Scrooge like!" It is easy to see it through his eyes as even people profess a desire for a simpler Christmas, there is still far too much stress attached to this holiday. Even Christian's dear great-grandmother at age 90 still feels the need to apologize for not being physically able to get out and do any Christmas shopping. And because of my back disability, I too cannot shop and seeing crowds of people pushing their way around yet another store makes me want to back into a corner and disappear. It seems that the only question that people ask in the month of December is "Are you ready for Christmas," or "Do you have your shopping all done yet?"

Every Christmas, my desire for a simpler Christmas feels more pressing, more necessary for my soul.
Of course, I love seeing the stocking hung, I adore listening to Christmas carols especially ones played by my children and seeing tasteful Christmas lights make me sigh with contentment. Christian shares my desire for less gifts, more meaningful moments and quiet peace. He feels overwhelmed if there is too much stuff under the tree and I love that at his age, he seems to understand what is important.

Truthfully, the only member of my family who firmly believes that "RECEIVING and not giving" is truly better is our two year old collie dog, Maestro who adores presents. In fact, Maestro is so greedy that he feels every present must be for him and when he is given one, he prances around the house with such enormous glee, so incredibly happy that yet another stuffie for him to squeak has been added to his collection. And so it is watching Maestro receive his gifts with such tremendous joy, that I find myself simply giddy with joy, just like Scrooge on that fine Christmas morning. It is the best present ever!

A New Teacher

Today,  after I picked up my smiling "Beethoven" boy from his piano lesson-  he cheerily shared with me what pieces he worked on with his teacher. Christian has only been studying with his new teacher for four months but already, there is a wonderful connection. "Robert," has been slowly restoring Christian's innate musical touch that his last teacher tried to pound and wrench out of him. I can breathe easy now because my gifted boy is finally back in extremely capable and caring hands. 

Christian had been on a perfect path since age five under the expert guidance with the renowned Mr. Peter Turner. However, colon cancer stole Mr. Turner away at age 88 and since his death, Christian had been floundering. Christian had just turned eight when Mr. Turner passed and he plunged into a terrible depression. Of course, the music suffered, but then again Mr. Turner was the type of teacher and mentor that deserved this little boy's profound grief. Their story is incredibly beautiful and will be told in time but right now at age 13, Christian has a piano teacher "Robert" that is his new beginning. Christian had been "going through the motions," with a different teacher for 3 years but it was fraught with tension and little joy- despite this, Christian still played beautifully but never quite the same- his heart was not fully in it.

Then, came an opportunity for change and after many months with no teacher, we found Robert. The interview flowed natural as I watched two kindred spirits find each other and realized thankfully that our search was over. The serendipitous part of this new partnership was the fact that "Robert," has studied with (and loved) Mr. Turner for five years- at age 13.

It was a positive year of change as Christian returned to his year of public school since losing Mr. Turner. Finally, Christian has found kids that accept his tremendous love of music and made him feel welcome. It had not always been that easy as a five year old boy who listened to Rachmaninoff to go to sleep doesn't always fit seamlessly in a school system. Surrounded by children, Christian felt very alone as he didn't relate to kids his age. I still remember vividly one day picking him up after school and he was very lit up telling me about playing with all the kids at lunch.  I was encouraged and asked him what game they had been playing. "Oh," he responded quite cheerily, we were in two groups and the rock group was chasing the classical group. Oh, that sounds interesting, I responded hopeful and who else was in your group. "Oh, I was the only one in the classical group" Christian answered most matter of fact, "but nobody caught me because I was such a fast runner".

 Raising a gifted intelligent boy was certainly a joy but it brought constant worries about ways to help guard his sensitive heart. 

My "Beethoven" Baby

I stood in front of my bedroom mirror tonight and despite my best efforts, could not see my reflection. Depression has a way of making one disappear and today, you will not find me. Living with chronic pain has also crippled my mind as if a crippled spine was not enough to handle. I sit down and try to redirect my thoughts to a more positive place and finally find a trace of myself again.

My "Beethoven" baby was a ridiculously happy, easy and contented chap who when he started grinning at six weeks didn't stop for quite some time. Christian would break out into peals of laughter sometimes just catching a glimpse of my face, in fact, if I hadn't been so besotted with him, I might have developed a complex about it.

In the last month before he was born, I was the epitome of a nervous mother-to-be as not having any experience with babies, I felt very inadequate in this department. My mom, who didn't live in Calgary, didn't have the time off work to come and stay with me so I convinced my husband.. who was also dreadfully inadequate with children, that we would need a full time nurse for at least the first two to four weeks when the baby came home. So, it wasn't a surprise that my baby decided it would be best to stay in his mother's tummy an extra couple of weeks until the doctor forced him out.

It was a fast and intense labour, no epidural but not because I was brave but because the doctor's couldn't give me one because of my fused spine. Fortunately, I had a very special doula in the delivery room who gave me the strength to get through the pain- my aunt/sister/mother/best friend (our relationship is complicated) who was the first to hold him, tears streaming down her face. My poor husband, whom i had turned on in at the very end, yelling at him for not telling me that he had such a BIG HEAD, got to hold him second, cradling him gently. So, it completely surprised everyone who knew me that when this new mom, third in line to finally see the precious baby, gazed at her newborn's face- I fell not only in love but felt this overwhelming peace.

My darling grandmother was the first official visitor and when they placed my five-hour old baby son in her capable, loving arms, she gazed at him for the longest time, finally remarking through her tears that "Christian had the most knowing eyes for a brand new baby." Many people in the first few days noted the same observation of this beautiful baby with the solemn eyes, he already seemed to be having such deep thoughts for someone who had just arrived.

 Three days later, a radiant new mother and her remarkable baby was driven home by my husband who after staying for a couple of hours left me happily  alone in care of our new son. Well, that's not completely accurate, I did have two volunteer nurses who seemed rather incompetent with their overly enthusiastic approach and constant "checking up on" the baby until I finally raised my voice and told them to go lay down. They (my nurse dogs) weren't happy about that but after much sulking, they did agree to lie down on their blankets beside the bassinet. Our female sheltie dog, Stanzi was like a mini Lassie in both her looks and her intelligence and from that day forward whenever the baby cried, it was a race between her and I would  look into the bassinet first. I often wondered if my "Beethoven" baby thought he might have two mothers, but considered that a plus that he was so well loved.

                                              Raising Beethoven: aka Christian Laurian age 13

The Beginning

To write a beginning is always rather daunting and even more so when it is your thirteen year old son that came up with the idea of his mom writing a blog.  At first, I laughed at his newly mannish voice in the backseat almost casually making this suggestion.  However, when he insisted that I take him seriously, I became deeply touched that my son would think that anything I had to say was of much value so without warning, my chest puffed out so much until it almost touched the dashboard. Really, I humoured him and what exactly would I write about. Something you know,  he stated simply and I said in jest "Perhaps I should write about raising a teenage son" thinking he would retreat in fear. But my son only briefly paused before asking me what I would call my blog and then, without even a whisper of a breath, I uttered "Raising Beethoven," and realized it was finally time to tell his story. The title had always been carefully tucked away since the very day that my then precious six-year old son defiantly uttered those very words when I asked him for the umpteenth time, why he was being so difficult. The clear vivid picture of this beautiful, brilliant little boy standing there defiantly explaining, but in almost an apologetic way, "Well mommy, it's not easy raising Beethoven." I know that your first thought will be of disbelief that both a six year old child would think of something like that to say to his mother in the very moment of a dispute and it did shake me for a second until I realized that he had just explained himself not only most eloquently but in the most perfect way for me to understand him. Yes, I have a brilliant son, beautiful, gifted as you will learn and it has lead me on a path that I could have never dreamed for myself. But then, it's not every day, a mom gets to raise Beethoven!